A Tiger Woods post. Finally.
People have been asking me about the Tiger Woods situation. You see, when you're in a position like mine, you get readers that don't want to start a debate at the water cooler with co-workers until you have studied the topic thoroughly but most importantly, gotten my opinion. As far as the personal stuff goes, the cheating, the lying, the 9 iron to the head and the raunchy, dirty and down right nasty text messages goes, I say shut ya mouth with your blah blah blah. Who cares. That's family business and quite frankly, not why anyone cares about you. We care about Tiger for two reasons. One, he is the most unreal golfer most of us have ever seen. Two, he is the most fined golfer in the history of the PGA. He curses more than anyone (not that you would ever know that because this secret is better kept than Lebron James having a kid since he's like 12) and generally kind of not a nice guy.
Honestly, I think he should just embrace it. Turn heel man! All the greats have done it. Hogan, Danika Patrick, George W., Stone Cold, Jordan, and of course, the great Shooter McGavin. Imagine if his press conference was just him going up to the stand and saying "Finally, Tiger has come BACK to golf. Party is over fellas, you better start sinking putts." Oh yeah, he HAS TO start talking in the third person. It's the great sign of all the heels. Just imagine how bad ass he would be? He lost all his sponsors anyway. This way, he's bound to pick up a few new ones. Let him appear in a Go Daddy superbowl commercial where he knocks over a kid looking for an autograph so he can go make out with Danika Patrick. Not only will it make him some big bucks, but I'm sure that he states in one of his texts he has a fantasy of making out while listening to a kid cry in the back. True story.
I'd also be perfectly happy if he ran for President. However, I'd be more happy if he didn't go the Obama route and went this way instead...
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