I don't care
I have been heard saying this famous line. "Your wedding is like your fantasy football team. It's really important to you, but no one else cares." This is a solid theory. It got me thinking of other things that are important to you, but no one else wants to hear about.
Your financial portfolio.
I don't care about what stocks you like or dislike. If you are doing well, it's too late for me to jump on the bandwagon. People don't want to hear how rich you are. However, if you're doing poorly, people enjoy hearing about your blunders.
Your babys' first steps.
This is a milestone in your life. Especially for your first child. As for me? Yawn. All it proves is that your child is in fact a human and not a silver back. Same goes for a child's first word. Unless of course it's a curse.
Your wedding.
I know I mentioned it already but I need to stress this. Males and females alike don't care. Floral arrangement? Are you kidding me? Sole or salmon? Take a hike. Your "wedding weight"? Only interesting if you miss it by 15 or more pounds. There is a reason it's called "your day", because you are the only one who cares. Only talk about the wedding if it isn't an open bar, and expect a lot of RSVP letters with "can not attend."
Fantasy sports teams.
This is especially true if you have several teams. Then you are constantly talking about every damn player on the planet. "Oh, I got him in my never going to get laid league!", or "I have Peterson in my work league, but I am playing against him in my child predator league. What should I do?" Just GFY and shut your mouth. We love fantasy sports, but if I'm not in your league I don't care that you are in 6th place on the playoff fringe.
Problems at work.
Unless it is in the news i.e. financial destruction, people don't want to hear about it. When Suzy ate your key lime pie that you have been saving for 6 weeks, keep it to yourself. Outside of your significant other, no one should even know who Suzy is.
Your golf game.
This can apply to other recreational sports as well. We don't care that you were 190 out and stuck a 6 iron. Outside of a hole in 1 we don't need to know. Even that is pushing it cause we all know your first shot went in the drink.
Your car.
You got a new car?! Awesome. Heres 39 cents in spare change. Let me see it, maybe take it for a drive. The end. We don't need to know about the bangin system you intend on putting in. Don't want to know that you have 15% tints on and how illegal that is. Sure as hell don't care about the rims your going to get. When it's on or in the car, sweet. Let's check it out. But do we need to hear about how your car will soon look like the guys hanging out at the train tracks looking for landscaping work?
Your financial portfolio.
I don't care about what stocks you like or dislike. If you are doing well, it's too late for me to jump on the bandwagon. People don't want to hear how rich you are. However, if you're doing poorly, people enjoy hearing about your blunders.
Your babys' first steps.
This is a milestone in your life. Especially for your first child. As for me? Yawn. All it proves is that your child is in fact a human and not a silver back. Same goes for a child's first word. Unless of course it's a curse.
Your wedding.
I know I mentioned it already but I need to stress this. Males and females alike don't care. Floral arrangement? Are you kidding me? Sole or salmon? Take a hike. Your "wedding weight"? Only interesting if you miss it by 15 or more pounds. There is a reason it's called "your day", because you are the only one who cares. Only talk about the wedding if it isn't an open bar, and expect a lot of RSVP letters with "can not attend."
Fantasy sports teams.
This is especially true if you have several teams. Then you are constantly talking about every damn player on the planet. "Oh, I got him in my never going to get laid league!", or "I have Peterson in my work league, but I am playing against him in my child predator league. What should I do?" Just GFY and shut your mouth. We love fantasy sports, but if I'm not in your league I don't care that you are in 6th place on the playoff fringe.
Problems at work.
Unless it is in the news i.e. financial destruction, people don't want to hear about it. When Suzy ate your key lime pie that you have been saving for 6 weeks, keep it to yourself. Outside of your significant other, no one should even know who Suzy is.
Your golf game.
This can apply to other recreational sports as well. We don't care that you were 190 out and stuck a 6 iron. Outside of a hole in 1 we don't need to know. Even that is pushing it cause we all know your first shot went in the drink.
Your car.
You got a new car?! Awesome. Heres 39 cents in spare change. Let me see it, maybe take it for a drive. The end. We don't need to know about the bangin system you intend on putting in. Don't want to know that you have 15% tints on and how illegal that is. Sure as hell don't care about the rims your going to get. When it's on or in the car, sweet. Let's check it out. But do we need to hear about how your car will soon look like the guys hanging out at the train tracks looking for landscaping work?
Gold Jimmy! Gold!!! Best blog yet.
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yo i hope you werent thinkin bout me wen u wrote about the car.... no spanyoli affordin da rims i gottt kidddd...
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